A thought on truth- and reality, and the sad path to seeking true answers

(Journey in a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

I really am an odd religious person in the modern era- why- because I, like much of the secular world refuse to believe what doesn't make sense to me- it is something that could be sin, or could be truth- but I am always loyal to truth before any concept of God. My excuse is that God says he is truth- so there is no fear in looking into facts- and seeing if belief in God is saner than belief in the secular world. Of course- I believe in mysteries- in things I know enough of to know I don't know all things- but in our universe the inexplicable sort of makes sense- and I cling to it... it is my sanity to believe as I do!

Many don't question it at all- they feel goodness about belief- and as some answer to this question- with the thought- simply follow the feeling- go with it- but this is not the method I use...

If I am to believe- well- I want to feel sensical in this... and more than that- I want genuine belief- not some decision to choose a belief system- I prefer honesty to such choice.

So, why do I believe- well- partly intuition, partly prayer- and partly the truth within and my experience- and to many this is the basis- and this basis is good.

Somehow- I must always question all things- its why certain groups do not like me much- I question- and work for justice. Many are part of the church- purely for humanitarian reasons- it is a body for this justice- but such people do not really believe, nor think of the doctrine of Mother church as anything but foolish- or useful in results in this world.

The truth is- my search for truth goes beyond all we see- I need to satisfy the part inside- and it only quiets when I believe- as a physical pain overcomes me when I separate from seeking truth- so that even as a Catholic- I still endlessly debate even myself- in an endless quest for Reality- for Truth.

I believe- as the early Christians did- that God is the frame of our world- the mediator in which we exist- Reality, Eternity, as Aquinas calls the tool by which we measure God. Now eternity has all the attributes of God- it is almighty, and all knowing, and permiates over all existence- in fact- I would say Eternity is the description of God- and the Highest Reality on which all exists also-

Now- we know the attributes of Reality and that they correlate. The Pantheist believes similar to the Catholic- except they believe all in existence is Reality- while the Catholic believes they exist in Reality.

Truly- this is what keeps me Catholic- this about Reality- and that all comes from something before it- so everything must come from Reality- and Reality must be greater than all- for all is within Him.

This means to me that even our intelligence must come from Reality- if so- Reality- which is sentient, has every attribute of God, of He who we name not without reverence- whose name is Reality itself- I AM Who I Am- Existence, Eternity- Reality.

If this is so- then my sanity is in belief...

How can I not awkwardly submit to truth, even tyranny in it- if it means remaining within right world-view- if it means being connected with Reality, if it means remaining within Sanity- and not denying what my soul says is truth.

Perhaps I am wrong- after all- I seek into this enough- not for pride or self reliance- nor does this make me right- I am not vane about my own perceptiveness- but it is a compulsion within- one I think all people should seek- believing as they do- but for arguments sake- always checking