But worry, it woul' kill me today!

(Journey in a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

In the middle of the night, you awake screaming. Another nightmare of the subconscious, the same which causes such fear as you feel... often to rush over you, and to sink calmly, maybe foolishly within.

You fear so much in this world, but most of one, can learn to adapt. You learn to read risks, and continue on. Perhaps you learn to trust God, or some special people who will not betray you. You do not give much charity, how could you, and be safe?

You learn not to trust people with certain characteristics, to avoid those without some nuances which speak of one's culture's home. In elections you vote out of fear, not hope, who could blame you? At least you have not given up hope as some do, as they allow apathy to conquer them.

Friends leave the country, and you know you may leave soon also, if it gets any worse. You watch the tides of people, and read politics carefully, cautiously, even dangerously. You listen and are careful. In all, you have become so- cautious, or reckless, either one or other or both.

Such can seem the world to you, can it not, as you drive fearfully from streetlight to streetlight, and rightly look all around when you stop the car.

Yet, while this caution is good, it gives nightmares, or is rationalised away with all you have of basic logic.

You may call it a blessing and a curse, call the rest of the world so very boring, or see it as a game of sorts. You may say- you're safe, or get a false sense of security.

You might work extra hard, to avoid ever losing the protection money brings.

These can be the fears of our people, can they not? a fear so basic, so tribal- that we fear ever losing, or becoming weak. We have heard the stories, and have no reason to doubt them?

Perhaps- but do you not also feel a sense of freedom in the inevitable? While your senses are only made more acute, and while many a person grumbles, or wonders why they stay in this place, this volcano ready to erupt... While we wonder at this, does it not make us, make you more aware of your mortal state of life?

Should you die, you should not be caught unaware... perhaps that part is a blessing, or a curse depending?

Perhaps the solution is simpler, is it not perhaps?

Yes, if God calls you, consider Europe, Australia or Canada, perhaps that is to be to you a home, a safe place to raise the kids?

And a second passport never was a bad idea...

But for all our worries, do we not realize that it is not an indictment on a good driver, should they crash when they did the best they could given the circumstances? Be cautious, but do not stay up through every night in fear, and nerves.

Some worry is good, but too much worry inevitably leads to a shorter life, as adrenalin pulses through the veins. yes, paranoia is good- to an extent, yes- take the other route home, do what needs doing, but do not let fear disrupt your life in entirety, do not let it string you like a puppet, unless there is some direct need of this.

We live our lives and Die at the end. This is near inevitable to most.

There are matters grave to be concerned about, and one should never cease to care, or watch the waves- knowing that the sea can turn at any moment. Yet, one should also try to live- to focus on what God requires, and take pleasure in his moral laws- as a map past fear and anger and so much else.

fear and anger are designed to cause us to act when needed, when thought may not be of benefit. But, irrational fear or anger, or too much or little- these damage love, and hope and so much else.

We do not stop shaking hands with our friends for fear of a very real flu.

Wherever we stand on matters- we should try our very best to be safe, to be aware- to notice all. Yet, once we have done what is reasonable, and should our intuition and logic not demand more- then we should rest, knowing we have done what is needed.

fear or anger is not our master- they are only signals of something we observe. Our emotions are signs of how we react to what we see, and tell us things we might not notice otherwise.

Our fears are oft rational, and good, and this is not the fear I warn about.

Whatever our deep fears, it is good to note them to ourselves, to note where there is wrong in this world, perhaps to write it down. Yet, we then must sit down, and look at these rationally, and determine what is the best course of action.

Should we live a moral life- and fight for life through life, shall we have fear of death? Truly, man always fears death, and rightly- but to truly be an excellent masterpiece, one must look at their fears with intuition and the heart and mind.

One must resolve their fears least these hurt them.

We cannot be governed by fear free from rational thought- no, our fear must not be who we are- only a reminder to always be vigilant and alert, and cautious.

In fact, God wants a fear in us, a fear of displeasing Him, of losing our salvation, of hell and the like. This is a fear which makes us all the more aware as we explore what is right and wrong in our lives.

Sin is always irrational, righteousness is sane. When our fear incapacitates us in finding some way to better the world, in God's fight for justice and goodness, & proportional, strong, true truth in matters- then it is a sinful fear, for it is irrational.

I do not say to risk one's life to give others charity, but rather to look within and ask where one can be a friend to a friend first. I think it best to look beyond our fears to our root emotions, and to ask what one is attempting to achieve by any fear.

I am not fearless, yet I am not governed in fear. My dreams are not often nightmares. I sleep in peace, because I know I take every precaution which is reasonable- in corporeal and spiritual matters, and having taken the precautions- I then leave matters in the realm of God and my protectors, and in the way things seem to be.

We can only do our best, yet once we have done all we can- we must then trust. Trust that though matters may worsen, that if I am obeying God, he has accounted for whatever is to occur. This does not mean I should cease to be cautious, but only that once we have gone that extra mile within reason- then we may rest, knowing we have done all we can. Fear only has a purpose when that which is feared may be combated in some or other way.