The scales and balances of life and limb

(Journey: In a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

I set my cellular phone date and time today. I dropped it, and it lost the information. I set it by feel, and suddenly realized I was setting it to Saturday 8th, last year. My time, was only two minutes off, when I checked it against the television.

Evolution, or should I say Mother Evolution, or simply, that stuff, if you don't believe in evolution: has designed the mhuman body in a certain manner.

Now, we hate pain, but not the pain itself, but what the pain tells us is happening. We desire quality of life, but really: is this not simply a way to try an insure we live in a better, longer, fuller way. We might smoke (I don't), in order to relieve stress, or eat too much, to feel happier. In fact, here, we are doing something evolution, and survival of the fittest, does not desire entirely.

We fear, or are happy, or cry, or weep, or scream, or stand dead still: because Mother Evolution tells us we must. From this, comes all emotion. Even the joy of heaven, or hope for death: comes from a hope to protect the form of our bodies, and lives.

So, when we judge an action, we judge it in two ways: how much does it disobey the natural instinct, which seeks our protection, and the protection, and spreading of the species, or how sane it is, and secondly: in what extent does it endanger a life, or soul.

Those perfectly in touch with evolution, are those who are most moral. To obey God most fully, brings such joy, and a recent survey in the infamous, liberal New York Times, found that those in organizaed religion, are ost successful in general. Also, evolution has caused us to have this desire for something more, beyond: whther aimed at ghosts, aliens, conspiracy theory, or some manifesto: we desire more.

With this in mind, while things such as rape are extremely evil, intrinsically evil: the evil is effecting the rapist, and causing harm to the one who is raped. In the case of murder, a horrid thing is done to another, but society may judge the murderer more "sane", more acceptible than the rapist. Abortion, however, not only kills a person, but also causes a denial of their humanity, such is not only an act by one denying something, by one the church would consider unsound, but is further the ultimate effect on another.

We hate rapists, because rapists are unsound, but we hate rape, because it ruins quality of life, and makes one less likely to succeed, more likely to die.

Pain, is intricately related to existence. Pain is a method of keeping us alive. There is no point in any pain, nor reason for it, which is better: than being a warning system to keepn us alive.

So, why does the church make such an issue of abortion: because on both standards, it is denial of reason, and it has direct harm. All sin is insanity, and true sanity is never formed into sin.

So, rape is utterly evil, so far as the effect on the rapist, and the scandal apon the psyche of the raped, and possible transfer of illness, but our response to rape, this emotive response: truly is due to care for the raped person's wellbeing, their ability to sustain existence: so that murder is possibly worse than rape, for it ruins a life forever.

Of course, this is a meer evolutionary look at things, I here have excluded much of morality. Excommunication is a measure to protect the church, declaring a person in mortal sin, however, is simply a statement of a reality, done by God. Excommunication is an act of man, possibly aided by God. Declaring a person in mortal sin, is simply to say that it is likely that God has seen that their life is so faint it wont last for eternity, and the person in question needs an infusion of life, and "sanity", via confession.

And so, excommunication: either is a call to reform, via the good punishment of the church: to the person in question, or else the protecting of the church from a cancer within. Either way, the excommunicated can still enter churches, and communicate with Catholics, they are simply banned from sacraments until they repent. The Sacraments would not work in any case: due to their state of "disobedience".

Unfortunately, many bishops, or priests neglect to inform people of the state of their souls. If these were doctors of the body, we would demand honest, well-trained accuracy, why not with the physicians of our souls: why not with our Grace infusing priests?

Tridentine South (And Southern) Africa: Latin mass is wonderful: soft, and tribal, and elegant and poignant

(Tridentine South (And Southern) Africa)

Article by Marc Aupiais

The horrid, ugly, rude : selfish actions of drivers, who continuously broke the law, not a traffic officer in site, made us arrive 50 minutes late. We took seats in the Cathedral, outside a small: overflowing chapel. Black and white stood, knelt, and sat on time; black and white replied in Latin. All desired to be there, it was like a soft, Irish Gaelic countryside event. It was soft, and God was attending with our help.

I noticed as hooting continued, and an ambulance moves, glided past, and a truck loudly hooted. Outside: twisting, ugly chaos: we were in a foreign sanctuary, a natural, earthy, universal, simple: elaborate lover's theater. We truly saw the sacrifice of Calvary. We sensed it softly: the obedience and love of God: our sacrificed unblemished lamb.

Truly, here, we felt privy to a secret, an uniting bond beyond all bonds!

Suddenly, our angers and frustrations went, they flew forth, our minds naturally clear: all secular worries were no longer there. We were at peace, we were privy to beauty, and secret: a small dusk bound village ritual of such dedicated love; charismatic fellowship and sharing.

I had never before attended a Latin mass: it has been illicit in Johannesburg for over 40 years, even my parents scarcely recall any of it.

Yet, I sat outside: listening in the Cathedral: the small chapel overflown with loving, considerate people, hardly hearing distinct foreign words; I sat and I marveled, and enjoyed, cherished greatness, as faint yellow and gray light filled my soul with healing peace. Here was truth, here was essence, here was mystery: my God was being crucified through time, beyond time: beyond me, as I sensed, or felt like I sensed all things pass. The ritual folded space and time, and retold history in soft spoken words of love. I had came late, and was a spectator, but witness to greatness, like one in cold snow, watching laughter around a fireplace. I loved the peace, and refused to listen to music afterward, when classical sounds turned to talking.

The peace was naught only from the Cathedral, a marvelous entity of God: the Latin mass was the source of the peace. I have never felt so soft a grace: I have never looked forward to anything but the Eucharist in mass, or perhaps the speaking with pretty, and beautiful Catholic girls and ladies afterward, or perhaps obedience or some things else: yet I look forward to Thursday, when again I can be part of a small: secret, hidden, special ritual: Sometimes not understanding: is wondrous: what a mystery, like roasting marshmallows in the bushvelt: like lying down, counting clouds and stars in the grand Drakensburg, on our backs: we experienced mystical miracles: in the sacraments and sacramentals and ritual and word. Let us all begin to attend the Valid Latin Mass, now we have it again: what a ritual: what a powered miracle: softly watching as God is killed for us!

My heart was combined, as it never is in normal mass: no foolish concerns: Christ occupied our minds and hearts, as all other worries, they came for moments, but past, and peace, in darkness: heavenly light remains. What cherished morsels, what delightful radiance of Christ.

How to view our tempting, how to comprehend our suffering, we who cry from all ends of the earth in anguish, and utterance of hoping suffering, and ut

(Journey in a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

I am drunk it seems, drunk not with alcohol, but with an insanity not my own. I know my actions are illogical, but it seems as I am powerless against them- that I shall fall, and I do.

Darkness merged with darkness, time stood still, around me something uncomfortable fills my sides, a black oil enters me, and surrounds me. I am drowning, as my heart bleeds, and turns to stone, heavy stone, like a constant pain.

Terror overcomes me, fear mixed in a sunset cocktail of ancient horror and terror. The trap surrounds me, as I shiver, and weep inside, and scream inside. Death itself enters me, and it seems- as though by my actions themselves- I pray to the devil- for his will to be done in the world. To the world my sin is small, non-existent, non-issues, healthy, sane, good- whatever it is. To me, I know I have failed, as clouds cover the heavens, and the sun becomes the color of black marble, and the yellow, orange, and green skies turn into a cocktail of terror.

Is this not what sin does to us, does it not create a deep gash in our chests, where our heart is, or affect our stomach, like a sickness, or like a dead beating heart in our throat like a rotten apple?

I do not exaggerate, by explaining the spiritual process of sin, but treat it as it is, as real as the physical, as solid, as rock solid as reality as the solid is.

And so, from all the earth we weep, and cry, our sackcloth a much sought out commodity, and yet is there any to comfort the sinner, or any who comfort all who have sinned, and broken their life, their soul- so that lava-like fiery scars cover their heart like veins? Indeed, to be sane, and in the state of mortal sin is a new horror for many a Catholic, to realize where they are and the horror of what they have done...

Immediately you may promise, and then without thought repeat your actions, the strongest oaths worth nothing to influence you.

Many now realize the power of the sacrament, they attend confession, and saturate the entire roster, with their presence, they go to church every Sunday and feast day, as God desired, and they live on the sacrament in their spirit. Both are good, and yet, when will the onslaught end. The stronger we get, the stronger the temptation. Our prayers only give us temporary safety, even hours worth of these, and our horrors become aeviternal scars. In fact, we will never be permitted to do away with sacrament, so long as we still live in the trials of the temporary plain, we cannot do without church on days of obligation, or confession at least once a year, but we can indeed even dare to say- conquer sin

Without the sacrament we are no-where in conquering sin, we must conquer it from within or not at all.

To stop sinning, we must become sane- and that is a horror. We start with the weeping within when our form commits a regular habit of sin, or acts like a mindless mythical creature. We start as we feel the horror of a mother who has lost her favorite child to a merciless, ruthless, unblinking, non-sleeping enemy. Darkness, like a mist thicker than blood- it covers us in our sin, and our energy in drained, our hope dying.

And so- we must determine to stop sinning immediately, not the day before our next confession, but today- and we must tell the priest everything needed inside the confessional. We must give him what we need in order to be healed by this spiritual warrior doctor, this... priest.

We must also vow to try never to sin again, and avoid, occasions of sin- if they be people, we may give them opportunity to change- but firstly value our own soul- saving another is never guaranteed. We then must use truth to set us free, even as we already have started via confession, on this long, winding dark path in the dusk of life- the dark just behind, the day ahead- walking in dusk- we race to find the ever-moving light. Indeed, the light is static, yet we must run to catch up, and will never reach it unless it invites us to join it. I know this- I have chased it countless times, and never reached it. I was spiritually exhausted, and losing water, yet my journey after the light was stunted, and I was barely alive by the time it reached me, specters of the night behind me, chasing me.

In fact, the night I sensed before my complete reversion- this was the lies and dangers of the world, of what in my dreams took the form of a deadly, ever-moving snake, which I aptly named kosmos (world). It seemed, I was only attempting to control the world, to fight it, and grapple, catch, or grab its neck to stop it biting me, but my accomplice in my dreams never gave up, and I never conquered it for good. This is how the world often acts, is it not- we try to control our lives, so that we are not hurt, in our small amounts- we compete to protect our forms, and fight like insane depraved wild creatures- to save our lives every time. Indeed, we should be so zealous for our lives, but what is our life, but our soul. That is the literal meaning of soul- breath is it not?

Kosmos still haunts me when I sin, his strength and size grow with my sins, and reduce to nothing with my consistent righteousness. He scared me allot, this phantom of dreams, often I would wake up sweating, even screaming. The reality of this, which is only a dream character- is so exemplified in a real snake I once found in my house, while walking bare-foot up my stairs, and over the small, angry, pitiable creature.

Our sin is like an external being, if we play with it, it only bites us and fills our veins with venom- which kills us. We must realize more than cautiously, more than boldly, in a complete infusion of belief- any desire to sin is a deception.

We must then look deep- to see what our actual need and want is- is it desire for freedom, to finally reveal the truth, to be good, to be successful, to be loved, or to love, to be accepted, to feel safe, or be comforted, or in comfort, or to comfort others, or be doing something of much purpose in living our gold dusted existence- in the darkness of our world? Whatever it is, we must find the natural desire, and decide to strengthen it, so as to chance away kosmos, our sin inducing snake. And when we fall- we must use the sacrament, no vow, no prayer, no hope can save us apart from the sacrament or its ghostly counterpart- whereby we would seek it if we knew of it, yet seek and obey truth as be it we can- real truth, not "defined" truth.

We must realize- Christ descended to our level, and went through temptation. How are we to gain our merit certificate, our crown, if we do not overcome an enemy. We are to see any temptation as an opportunity to prove ourselves, to grow our self, by conquering our sin- through self control, choice, and then finding our actual desire, likely with some aid of prayer- and kicking out the evil one by manifesting this desire, either at its rawest form, or else in another manifestation- which is healthy, and different. What is good- that is in the power and strength of God, so far as it is so, and preserves itself through goodness!

Oil of Gladness controversy ends- simulating a sacrament condemned by church

(Journey in a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

In response to a complaint by a source we cannot site,via a letter seen by representation of South African Catholic- the international church has condemned what was reported as mass abuses in South Africa- the anointing of people with what was claimed as the "oil of gladness", which is not a sacrament, or sacramental, in such a way that it could be confused with this. This has been condemned. Today I attended a healing mass, at a church which did this during these, and the practice was explained by the priest to be discontinued due to the possibility as being seen as such. We did not report this while we had not had it confirmed by structures, now we are able to confirm a letter appearing on a site of a person who is believed to support the irregular group- SSPX. The complaint was made, and a reply was given. Orthodoxy has been increased in South Africa today, and the person who complained is to be commended for their efforts, and so we do so, and encourage orthodoxy, and even approaching the Vatican on such things when canon law is broken. While the actual response was weeks ago, we are cautious with SSPX supporters, and so had not reported on this.

Overcoming lust- a secret guide from Chastity South Africa

(Chastity South Africa)

Article by Marc Aupiais

Firstly- let us define lust(c.f. note)-

this is the seeking of sexual pleasure apart from either its unitive or its procreative properties. I.e. anything outside of a marriage between one man and one woman- who are open to life in their actions.

Natural Family Planning is included in this- chastity that is (so long as it isn't for selfish reasons)- as it follows natural patterns and is natural- and actually asked of the Israelites in Levitical Law (Leviticus chapter 15 verse 24)and therefore is not lust...

Now, when we lust- sometimes we focus on the form of the body- but Michael Angelo's David is not evil or pornographic- nor much of Christian art. That made to incite lust- or viewed to incite lust, or which shows what should be a private act to the world becomes sinful- and lust- but lust is not an interest in the sexual form- rather- what is sinful is to look at anything with the intent of doing a lustful action with it. Jesus notes this when he says looking at a woman with lust is adultery.

So- how does one overcome it- well- one can be freed from it in confession- but every sin is still a risk- what we- since writing on all sin as insanity- have realized- is that lust is the twisting of a good, natural, God given desire into something evil- whenever we are tempted in lust- we must look deep, and ask why- what causes it- is it the desire to marry a beautiful lady (or man for the ladies), or to enjoy our marriage one day- but not now, or the desire for marriage or for self esteem, which has been twisted. Endorse the desire below in a godly manner- and the lust should disappear.

Remember- if we don't endorse sinful thoughts- but fight them- we hold no guilt for these- instead- when we come to our senses- we must immediately look into why, determine to confess and stop our sin- and see what role we played in it to prevent another occurance- often something caused us to fall- we need either to avoid it if it is sinful- or in a safe environment- alter these internal perceptions that cause goodness to prevent right perception and lead to sin.

Lust is always misperception of another as a tool to cure an unsatisfied desire- or else to use any tool to satisfy sexual desire without the unitive and pro-creative properties both present...

If we satisfy the root desire which has been twisted, or abused by the devil into lust- the good one- not the evil one- whether the desire to show affection, or to gain self esteem, or that for something pleasurable (though of the pleasure of praying?- but generally a desire for pleasure comes from loneliness), or a desire for companionship... if we do so in a Godly manner- lust cannot survive, as we push it out and satisfy the plant this weed tries to cling to... and destroy the heinous weed of lust...

In all of these- the saints all hear and desire to be our guides and companions- loneliness is a terrible thing- but God intended us for happiness- and he is the first step to gaining companions- and love, and truth- for every friend we lose for him- he pays us back a million times in this world and the next- now this is what the bible says- of renouncing evil...

So- when lust tries to take you- start to pray to a saint- be sure to ask why you desire this- and do not listen to sinful excuses- look below and endorse the desire you have neglected- which evil is taking advantage of- and ask yourself what you would do if a Godly person were to see your actions and be dismayed- would you hide them- or does your mind reply-

"who cares- that is their problem"

Now, if one says this- and this is of a Godly person- and one is not saying- I will prevail in good nonetheless- because we are speaking of a Godly person- nor are we saying- I will try help them understand- because this is us speaking of what sinful and such a reply is not appropriate.

In this scenario, are we justifying our actions- or are we concerned as to heal our neighbor from perceiving us as evil? Now this only is when our neighbor is Godly.

So often- when in sin- the church and saints look scary- and we turn from them, or think chastity is impossible- or that we must only do this or that to prove we are not in lust- but the saints and the sacrament of penance (Gospel of John chapter 20 verse 23) are often our only recourse- and not sinning is always an option to us children of truth- God promised strength in temptation if we choose his path.

Remember- acting in lust, such as foreplay, like French Kissing outside of marriage (c.f. Saint Thomas Aquinas- Summa Theologica- "Parts of Lust"), makes the body believe another is your spouse- after-all- God created us for marriage- not lust- and so it thinks you cruel to do otherwise- unless you strictly discipline it. I have also seen men wearing women's clothing- even Catholics- this too is lust, or at least provoking others to it- to which on seeing such people- I have made a cruel* joke to them before- to demonstrate that they are aiding sins along... however much fun they are having being silly at events- it is the same sort of events for which God desecrated the people of Canaan- and asked the Israelites to stone such men. Wearing women's clothing is only acceptable with a valid reason- such as fleeing enemies...

Overcoming lust by self mortification- fasting and thinking of what one has done, or hurting one's self in tactical ways while thinking of one's sin, or smelling something horrid while thinking of one's sin- or placing one's feet in hot (not dangerously so)water- while thinking of what one has done- and then also confessing it- whether thoughts or actions- truly can destroy lust or many other sins quite quickly- and Pavlo's dog agrees.

Self mortification is not strange- in fact- Catholics are required to abstain from meat (not fish- but also from expensive fish and shellfish)on Fridays- although some Dioceses have permitted this to be supplemented with charitable actions on Fridays outside of Lent, where it is generally compulsory.

Once one overcomes sin-

From that point on- prayer- and the trick of finding what desire has been twisted into evil, along with the constant threat of mortification- and an understanding of whether an action is selfish or not- and constant desire to ask the saints for help can aid tremendous amounts... remember also- that reading a Catholic bible, or Godly Catholic article, or prayer- and determining to hear God, and wait this sin out can also aid. Never think something odd is necessary- always follow intuition and God- and be careful when passions and emotion takes you- try to ask why it is so- and if the reason is just- by all means allow emotion- but let the rational mind rule- and always remember how strict, but merciful God is- he condemns a good man who turns evil in his last years, and forgives a prostitute who has just confessed to the priest, and repented (or who has determined to join the faith- whereby it would take a while until her first confession).

Remember- the church is your doctor- your priest your spiritual healer- he is bound to secrecy in confession.


Note: this article covers the Catholic view. No insult is meant to non-Catholics- however- as a Catholic news service- we should be expected to speak sometimes in Catholic Jargon- and not have the same view of words as others.

* I simply pointed out to the people I spoke to- that their actions might be cruel to those who would be affected by it, something as straight persons, such as I also am- they would not desire- I in no way was mean to them- but often people don't realize the impact they could have, and the hurt they could cause those in sin- or with evolutionary lacks that cause them not to desire certain things that the advancement of the species requires- and I enjoy humour as a tool to aid people. To me this action is on level with harming others like tempting someone who compulsively steals- as my morality sees such actions as wrong- even as the mind may be affected to desire wrong things- I think tempting another into what my church calls a mortal sin is also wrong- especially when done by those not under such.