Saturday, October 11, 2014

Rules for interpreting Facebook:

Rules for interpreting Facebook:

– The funnest times and parties are never photographed or put onto Facebook. Posing to appear that you are having a good time probably means you aren't having such a good time. A photograph speaks 1000 lies, but no doubt for you it is much fun having people believe them, or rather you think they believe them.
– Posting how much you and your lover are in love: probably means you're going through relationship troubles, or are dating them for their aesthetic or other markings. Literature and history is full of such things. But yes, do show public affection, which is not there in private.
– Posting about how rich you are, how blessed you are, how much stuff you are most blessed: the possessor of: might make you look slightly shallow, and might indicate that the products you claim to own are not in fact yours, or that you are secretly nursing depression or feelings of inadequacy, that Gatsby himself would aspire to mimic. Yes, we realise that you're not posting about people but about things which you hope other people will feel jealous of you for. They probably do feel jealous, which probably doesn't help your relationships with them.
– People are only capable of keeping up real relationships with 150 people: your friend with 5000 friends probably doesn't know who 4850 of them are any more than you do. But yes, feel jealous of them, and the 5000 friends, who they might not even have met, or may have met briefly in a bar, we hope, but don't have any real relationship with: except maybe about 150 of them.
– You might admire your friend with all of their wonderful photographs of them drinking and partying: their prospective future bosses do not. Be glad that you're boring, your friend who posts all of these is probably just as boring as you are, but nonetheless, in their delightful way: they always remember to bring a camera out with them and photograph themselves looking drunk, and appearing to be up to no good.
If you must use Facebook, use it to better mankind, to communicate honestly with friends and make connections. As for the other uses, we all know. It isn't a secret, it was not even a secret 10 years ago. It might seem good fun and no doubt, for you: it is, but it is not real life you are portraying. And we know that. So I guess it's fine. If you like things that way. But if not, consider making your Facebook about expressing yourself in a cordial and well thought out manner: rather than about impressing others with a persona who's not you. Just a thought, you don't have to listen to it, and please don't photograph it or hashtag it as a selfie. That is all for now. Do continue on with whatever it was you were doing. Yes, I can see that camera which you so visibly are pointing at yourself.

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