Research discovers: The perfect way to hold a hamburger, and not spill a single drop of sauce!

listen to ‘Research discovers: The perfect way to hold a hamburger, and not spill a single drop of sauce!’ on Audioboo

The Japanese are picky eaters. They eat strange and exotic foods such as raw fish, with unheard of methods of cutlery utilization. They are also the source of four months of research into how to eat the ultimate American food: The Hamburger, without resorting to American television's table manners.

Firstly take a look at your burger. What I usually do prior cutting it with knife and fork is push down on the bun to make it more like a sandwich. The Japanese say nothing of it, but I do think it will help stabilise the meal a bit. I pushed down on my burger as always, but instead of cutting it and eating via cutlery, I attempted to follow the method that follows. I am pleased to say my attempt was met only with success.

Onto the Japanese recipe:

Put your pinkie and thumb of each hand, on both sides below the meat sandwich / meat in a bun. You will note that in doing so you have created a stable platform for the foodstuff to rest upon. To prevent an avalanche on the top part of the meal, place all three remaining fingers of each hand like a bear trap over the top of the burger. All sides have adequate pressure, and now you are good for the eating. Place the food in your mouth while maintaining your human bear trap. Bite down and continue to eat. You will be amazed to have not spilt at all (one hopes).

I attempted this great method today, and I am glad to state that not a drop of sauce left the burger once I had it in this clasp. A horrible meal to eat, harking back to the days when mankind ate raw meat, has thus been converted into a civilised meal... thanks to research by people who eat raw meat.

You might thank me later. Try this method. It really does create great joy.

About the SACNS: What is our editorial policy?

Our Editorial Policy

The SACNS subscribes to a number of editorial policies. Be International While we have South African roots, we believe firmly in presenting the entire world to the entire world. Our audience and our subject matter is humankind itself. The essence of our reporting is that all mankind are inter-related as a human family: as brethren in pain, suffering and in kindness, truth, fidelity, and the gains we as a human family share. We believe that what happens in some remote part of Africa or Asia or South America can affect the entire world. Even an unvoiced thought can influence history. We therefore are members of humanity and citizens of humankind first and foremost, while certainly having a diligent degree of patriotism for Africa and for South Africa. Do not Lie We believe the job of media is not to assist campaigns or be popular. What we do is see through the veil of lies and tell the truth. If the truth is ugly then that is what it is, but it is still the truth. We at SACNS believe in reporting the truth and nothing but. Yes, we believe in debate and argument as these can sharpen the lens through which we all see the world, but the essence of what we do is report truth. That is in honesty the job of a journalist: to be an expert in truth, and the lens which enables others too see better what that real truth of matters exists upon. A journalist is best placed to tell the truth, and thus has a duty to humankind to do so conscientiously. This also places a duty on a journalist to be prudent in what they report. A good journalist is not so much defined by what they place upon the planetary record as by what they do not print or utter for anyone outside their strictest confidence to see. The ability to foster relationships and hold a confidence rather than breaking a trust, and rather than reporting a matter which is best left in the netherworld, and thus not reporting even a word of a matter all for the sake of integrity, is the core of the journalistic profession. Be Patriotic True patriotism, is like true love: loyal beyond anything but also honest beyond reason. The French are the most patriotic nation on the planet, and with good reason. True patriotism is critical, it sees the flaws of those nations it attaches to and it highlights the flaws of these long lived manmade creations, and in this long winding process, it thus fixes the flaws of nations and of individual human men and women. True love is not blind. True patriotism shines a light into darkness and fixes the object of its love. SACNS is patriotic about South Africa, about Sub-Saharan Africa, and of their peoples and beauty and of their horrible flaws. We as a policy believe that patriotism towards every nation we cover is essential, and beyond this: love in the patriotic sense of every person we cover is essential. We believe it is essential that should someone we have never met read an article we write about them, they should feel shocked, they should feel the text is not text at all but rather a fluid and ghostly mirror, which perfectly portrays who they truly are beneath it all, despite their airs and illusions. We believe in asking the questions that cut the soul, for to truly cut apart the blueprint of a human life, is the only true way to insure it's survival unto eternity, both in memory and so far as whatever sense of religion or spiritual life a person might have. Human beings have inside of them a desire to look within and a desire to seek truth and then to conform to it. The as-though-a-gospel every journalist tells with every word, is a fidelity to the truth of this human held place, which can be found in and of this imperfect perfect human inhabited world. That sort of faithfulness to integrity is the essence of the great profession of the modern day town messenger, the journalist. Write with Hind Sight Many journalists aim to influence others with their views. A history book if well written certainly learns lessons of events, but its author is powerless to change the events already unfolded. At SACNS we desire to write from that sort of perspective. We seek to write as those who are powerless, as though we were the unspoken thought of a dying man who is mute and deaf and blind and in a comatose state. We desire as a service to remove our own interests from a story: yes to be as critical as a wolf's teeth are sharp, and yes to be as kind as a lamb's wool is gentle to the touch, but to write as though all is lost and all is gained already. It is only by honesty, by portraying both those we see as good and those we see as bad with all of their observable flaws, that we truly can come to see truth. If I believe someone is good but has flaws or is bad but has good traits, yet retain this view despite the discrepancies, am I not disrespecting you if I refuse to grant you the opportunity to see both sides of a person by misconstruing the person? An intelligent person does not change their worldview on whim simply because human being are frail. If I support a public figure, I am just as likely to bring up their flaws as show their goodness. Respect Privacy There is nothing as important as the privacy of ordinary people. Public figures are in the public view, and are fair game, but an initiative such as ours which has such power to ruin a life, should be very cautious in ever reporting negatively of ordinary people who cannot easily fight back. Such reporting must always be the justified exception and not the rule. Hold to business Ethics At SACNS we believe in acting with integrity, punctuality, and in treating our readers with respect. Professionalism is at the heart of good journalism. We aspire to always be above the fray and to maintain absolute professionalism at all applicable times. Stay Above the Fray/Be Noble At SACNS is we love to create debate, controversy, and to present arguments and views you might not agree with but grow mentally from reading, but we also believe in acting in a responsible manner in our journalism. We are spectators of events, we are observers of the world. We report, and it is vital that in our reporting we remain objective and honest. We write not for a fight but for the growth of the human consciousness. We write with respect, both to our own writing and to the people who we write about. Every human person deserves to be portrayed honestly, this is basic respect. Adhere to the rules of court. "Police say they arrested protesters for disturbing the public order." Imagine if that were all you had to go with. Often on Twitter that is all many journalists say, we even might say that. Imagine now a different statement: "Police say they arrested protesters for disturbing the public order, but the lawyer for one of the arrested individuals say they were merely a by-stander and had been going to the shops to buy baby milk formula." Both statements are true, certainly some protesters were arrested for disturbing the public order, but one of them were not. Perhaps in fact none were arrested for that at all, but only on that pretence. At SACNS we believe in hearing both sides, and in going through the extra written and other sources to come to the truth before we report it. Yes, we certainly try to break news, but we try to report the truth and to gain several sources to figure out from the words itself and from the best interests of witnesses what really occurred.  If we at SACNS say "The protesters were arrested for disturbing public order", we want it to be because based on the facts before us that is exactly what really occurred. In law there are two man systems of truth finding: the one where the parties control the narrative, and argue a matter our, and the one where a truth finder investigates to make their own determinations, taking into account the arguments of both sides and what is likely to be true. SACNS believes that the second approach is the honest approach. Certainly we might say what both parties say in a matter and investigate if it is true, but we certainly are not intent on being anybody's fool. We merely see parties to a matter as possible frail guides to the truth of a matter.

(Audio) Major News Stories You Missed Today but need to know of - report by Marc Evan Aupiais (10 Minutes)

Do you have ten minutes to go through a quick look at many of the major stories Today? We do, and we did. Based on our news alerts as reported on the Twitter account of our editor, we have recounted the major headlines for Today. We hope you enjoy the listen.

https://audioboo.fm/boos/2194047-audio-major-news-stories-you-missed-today-but-need-to-know-of-report-by-marc-evan-aupiais-10-minutes


Major stories today:

listen to ‘(Audio) Major News Stories You Missed Today but need to know of - report by Marc Evan Aupiais (10 Minutes)’ on Audioboo

Jacob Zuma inaugurated. Massacre of Santa Barbara, California. Malawi President declares elections null, but electoral authority says she has no power to nullify the elections. Mass murder in Yemen. Somalia parliament stormed. Hand back erotic pictures after a relationship ends in Germany, judge rules. Death over the matter of a candy bar in Georgia jail. Boko Haram 3 village slaughter. China arrest mass murderer. Was American indictment of 5 Chinese hackers short sited of the West? Aegean Earthquake causes mass injuries in Turkey, hits hospital. Female porn star commits suicide after sex scene: LifeSiteNews investigates link between depression and porn actresses' sex scene anxiety. Putin says Russia will not stop gas flow to Europe, calls it suicidal to. Reporter kicked out of 9/11 museum for asking a question. 19 Morsi supporters sentenced to 5 years in jail in Egypt. Thai army disband the senate. Earthquake damages thousands of houses in South West China. British Prime Minister David Cameron mourns the likely deaths of a British yacht crew as the USA Coast Guard finds their life boat unused. The French Land Army and former Seleka rebels have engaged in combat against one another in Bambari, Central African Republic.

(Audio) Major News Stories You Missed Today but need to know of - report by Marc Evan Aupiais (10 Minutes) https://t.co/z7vfi0N10R

— Marc Evan Aupiais (@SACNSNew) May 24, 2014

The Sudanese Woman sentenced to death over the faith of her father

Her father left in her early youth. Sharia law demanded that her father's religion hold firm along the family line. She was to be Muslim whatever she believed. Her orthodox Christian mother brought her up believing in Jesus Christ. None the less, under Sudanese Sharia based law, she was a Muslim. Perhaps if she had married a Muslim all would be fine, but Sharia law does not recognise a marriage between a Muslim woman and a Christian man. The pregnant woman, who herself is already a mother, is sentenced to death.

Her crimes are twofold: The strangest is that of her adultery: she is, it would seem, accused of having intercourse with the man she married. The second is her insistence that she is not a Muslim woman. Because she does not hold her heart within a faith that was never hers, she has committed a heinous apostacy, which Sudan's justice system warrants death for.

What of her husband and the father of her born child and her unborn offspring? He will be denied access to their then motherless born child, when this woman is hung up until her neck snaps or her breath runs out. The offspring is considered a child of adultery, under Sharia law. What will happen to the second womb bound child seems uncertain, the death marked mother is 8 months with child.

When Sudan split into Sudan and South Sudan, it was lauded as a masterful solution. The majority Christian South has since descended spiralling into civil war. As was forewarned despite the Western constituted quick fix of secession, the Christians who remained in the north became far more vulnerable. She is among these.

A picture of the woman is embedded below:

Post by News.va English.

South Africa's deep concern for those Nigerian school girls, is unfortunately disingenuous!

The African National Congress are firing out press releases at a rate a machine gunnery post would envy. The ANC women are putting all the pressure they can on world leaders. The ANC men are howling like an injured stray dog haunted by the sunlight. The South African government is telling everyone who will listen of those poor wretched, hapless school girls, those girls who were snatched from their classrooms like chickens grabbed by a most African Hyena or a jackal in collaboration with a fox. One could be mistaken for believing that the girls to be brought back were South African, or that South Africa had such sympathy and so deep an eternal empathy with Nigeria that they felt as strongly as though love for neighbour were the underlying truth at work in hearts and minds of political figures.


Alas, the tears might well be those of a weeping crocodilian. Analysts say that the Bring Back Our Girls campaign is most definitely empty, as empty as the campaign to bring Kony to justice. Despite American kill squads being deployed, Kony leaked through half hearted Western grasps for him and is not only alive but very well. Nigeria is in the predicament known as a low scale civil war. Large swathes of territory are now entirely within the heartland of Books Forbidden, a once peaceful group. South Africa has a lot to gain from highlighting Nigerian Plight, even as Nigeria has very little advantage from the hustle and bustle across sofas, couches, and keyboards and mice.

The girls have likely been separated, and are certainly being kept in a Nigerian forest the size of a small country, which territory is entirely within the merciless stranglehold of Books Forbidden, a terrible and most formidable Islamist terror tactics outfit. Books Forbidden emerged from a Nigerian government policy forbidding state jobs from Muslims in Jos. Highly skilled, unquestionably educated Muslim students began a protest movement. Their education could win them nothing in Nigeria's centre and South. Books Forbidden, Boko Haram was born. The government of Nigeria sent the shock troops forth, and massacred many of these highly educated students. Boko Haram, Books Forbidden: became powerful and learnt how to forsake peace. Much of Nigeria backed them fully, and the hearts of many a Nigerian at every level of society burnt with a fire of admiration and love. Books Forbidden killed, kidnapped, bombed, and hearts fluttered in hope, and others in fear.

It is a recent development, that the Nigerian government has begun a massive campaign against Books Forbidden. Books Forbidden massacred whole villages, and the government massacred Boko Haram, and allegedly fired upon civilians all too joyously. Hundreds or dozens dying in the Federal Republic of Nigeria, hardly got an inch or a centimetre of attention.

Books Forbidden saw an opportunity on the outskirts of their zone of military supremacy. A group of girls were attending school. The popular Islamists grasped unto little girls, and herded them off as though submissive animals. The announcement that the girls had been taken by Books Forbidden began to circulate. Before others I caught onto something in foreign language media: Books Forbidden were going to sell the girls, or have them in forced marriages and as slaves. It was such a clear move of calculation. The story spread as wildfire, and Books Forbidden had the recruitment campaign and global spotlight upon Nigeria that they so clearly sought.

How could the girls be regained? There are two ways: negotiation and force.

The first will only strengthen Books Forbidden. The second will devastate Nigeria entirely.

The international attention has seen massive pressure placed on Nigeria's president, the sort of Pressure that saw Syria turn into a failed state in its own fight against Islamists.

Experts and troops, more ceremonially than for any real goal have been deployed to find and free the girls from across the global territory. Like the Spartan army facing the Persians, these are less than half of what would be needed to cause real change. The girls are in a dark heart. A forest surrounds at all sides. This forest the size of a country is Indian Territory to use an American phrase: Boko Haram has a content hold of death upon this forbidden forest. Their support in Nigeria remains, despite it all, and their men are all the more armed and powerful. A real solution by force would be for Nigeria to invade their Forbidden Forest: Sambisa, a failed national park stretching 60,000 square kilometres. That move could only lead to outright war.

Amidst this quagmire, Nigeria has overtaken South Africa as Africa's largest economy. Granted, the size of its massive population is the reason for this. Much of its economy is in oil. None the less, Nigeria is one of the three major Subsaharan Africa powerhouses: Kenya, Nigeria, South Africa. Kenya and Nigeria are caught up in wars with Islamists. South Africa is experiencing social unrest.

Picture from @CBCNews. pic.twitter.com/pcm25a2qUX It is how girls could be saved. It would mean civil war in Nigeria. So very bad idea.
— Marc Evan Aupiais (@SACNSNew) May 11, 2014

Perhaps it is cynical to point out that no amount of light will scare out the darkness gripping Nigeria by the neck. If anything the light is forced upon those forces for order, and benefit the monsters which lustfully prowl the night. Perhaps it is terrible to say that South Africa and Nigeria are geo-political foes, fighting for the soul of Africa. South Africa is releasing press releases like a squawking parrot: and all of these words, surely draw attention to the predicaments facing its rivals, and keep the world from looking too hard at its own labrinth forward into a darkened future. A few murders and protests spotting the country like chicken pocks are hardly as worthy of notice as a couple hundred kidnapped Nigerian school girls.

North Korea has discovered the ability to resurrect the dead...

In ancient times a man named Lazarus was raised from the dead. Despite being buried and gone, he strode the earth again for a while.

It seems myth and truth have once again become entangled and intertwined in North Korea, a place of myth, a place of obscure war fog, which is difficult to peer within at the best of times.

Hyon Song-wyol is a regular modern day Lazarus. A year ago she was dead, killed by a state organised firing squad in North Korea, for that evil sin of pornography. By the magic of the morning sunshine, she is back and praising her alleged ex beau: Mr Kim Jong-un. Rumour had it that they had had a bit of a fling, just the two of them. Rumour South Korean Intelligence and news media reported that Kim Jong-un had had his sweetheart savagely executed by a wall of bullets. Her reappearance as a propaganda tool on North Korean state television has not met a response from the South Korean media, or the Western propaganda depots, which were so quick to avoid fact checking the story. One can only stand here quite baffled that reports of her death are a tad exaggerated, or perhaps Kim has come across the power of the ancient deity. The alternative being that it could be old video footage or worse yet a lookalike or computer generated graphics...

What is perhaps the less mystical explanation is to say that media across the West: were all to quick to become harbingers of another person's ruin.

'Kim Jong-un's ex-girlfriend appears on TV – a year after she was 'executed' http://t.co/E2NimdpJcc pic.twitter.com/gEm7ZLKnUZ ' / @Independent

— Marc Evan Aupiais (@SACNSNew) May 18, 2014