Tuesday 8 October 2013

Gay Paris to host #GayGames2018: Evidence that ‎even people the French statistically dislike love France.

‎Even people the French statistically dislike love France. The British know this well. Anyone who speaks English knows to speak a foreign language first and wait for the French to ask for English: that way the French are more polite. Just don't speak the language of the Roma peoples.

Gay people are to excitedly head to gay Paris in 2018 to play games with one another.

London, the rainbow flag's fanatic fan, is most Britishly disappointed the gay game players wont come to play there. This is all to do with the surprisingly contested for: #GayGames2018.

Just Great for Britain: All her delighted embassies were so gaily excitable about the gay games, bragging about being a pink stiletto in... the door of course. Somehow, however, my beloved, statistically deeply 'homophobic' France won. Britain took a whipping.

Vive La France, one assumes one must say: but no one must change that into Ass You Me (Or translate that into French, where it is statistically deeply frowned upon). The Ménage à trois games would be better placed for France, if that fetish had a sporting fandom. Even people the French statistically dislike love France, though certainly the gay athletes will enjoy the city of lights and love. Indeed, it is but an epic fail for Britain and Cameron there: they were so hoping that their British modern affection and bright many coloured intolerance of foreigners would lure the gays into their beds and breakfasts.

Perhaps it was the Eiffel Tower, or the Arc De Triomphe that overcame the fact that the locals would be most restless about the presence of the gay games, after all, the world values survey found France to be the least tolerant of homosexual lifestyle in all Western Europe. This has been widely reported this 13th year of the second millennium.

As the British have found, even if the French hate them, they do love Paris! Who in Britain could blame their national emblems, men and women who play for the other team, for feeling the same. The straight streets of Paris, erected so the French could defend against a foreign invasion, shall be invaded by étranger visitors in 2018.

As a perfectly straight gentleman, I cannot help but attempt to keep a straight face, when thinking of the Great French Republic, and her not subtle response to visitors in the past. A Parisian man waving a French flag to bellow that Justin Bieber shut up and leave town, is one example of what might await the intrepid gay men, who long to play games in the city of lights, and mountaineer the third floor of the Eiffel Tower.

The gay man who imitated the President of France, M. François Hollande at Israel's gay pride will no doubt be proud. The French Socialists must be gaily ecstatic.

The French may even bring out the welcome wagon, for the strange visitors: granted, likely in May Day fashion, not the parades the gay players will be accustomed to. Some of those who come out to greet the gay athletes may however be paraded by the Gendarme before a court of law, however. Parisians can be over-enthusiastic in their enjoyment of protests. Protest is an art and a lifestyle in my beloved France, whatever is being protested against, just being there is considered as much being present at a good time, as a street party attendance is for the Brits.

The moral of the story is simple: everyone loves France, even if the French are statistically not enamoured with their aspirant paramours.
The rest is yet to come.

No doubt Homen will show the gays their topless theatrics, and when protesters chant in French, perhaps the visitors will not realise that they are being protested against: But the bright lights of Paris are enough to make anyone choose Paris, France over another destination for an event.

Especially if British embassies were as forward as they were, as enthusiastic to host the games. Alas... for Cameron... it seems their love of the gay games was unrequited affection. Who can compete with the city of lights, even if the populace of France will not welcome the competitors? Not David Cameron. That is for sure. But what can Cameron compete for anyway?

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