It was an experiment I told myself. Screws in hand by the plug socket. Screws in socket, the same explanation. I placed on in Earth, and the other two in the remaining current producing electrodes of the plug. I was about 9 years old. One of my famous experiments.
I'd placed a cup underwater upside down with toilet paper in to test air pressure's effect on water, and many other curiosities.
Now, I was trying electricity!
I touched the large screw. I began to suffocate. I felt like in water for hours. I tried to pull away... All energy, sifted into the socket. It grabbed my hand. I took hold of my lungs. Adrenalin pushed and failed. My memory after that is blank. Too traumatic? Stress!
Even now! I hold my breath as reminisce!
On school camp, the guys and some girls would touch and electric fence and make a line, for the thrill. I refused. It was stupid.
Electricity! Pulls you in. It hurts you. It takes your energy. You'd expect it to release you, push you away. It doesn't. It sticks you to itself, and pulls and pulls. You become tired, but the more you give in, the less you have to fight it.
They say you only realise how evil you are when you try to be good.
Jesus said to the good rich man: "give up everything and follow me". The Early Christians all tended to do this- to give up their possessions and join the disciples.
The Bible holds the letter of Saint Paul, I believe to Timothy. It says: don't give the devil a foothold.
Most people see lying or small sins as unimportant, but like electricity they pull us in. They drain us, they weaken our defences. They hint at relying on the world, ourselves, fearing, esteeming it and us more than God, who claims his ways are higher than wisdom, so high they appear stupid to the stupid, evil to the evil; but good and wise to the good and wise;
The most effective answer to sin is what society tells us: SHUN; Morbidity. Which is really the old word in a way for insanity, this is how society views it. How society views giving up all to join Jesus, or self mortification; fasting; marriage.
The most effective method against sin is mortification. Reminding one one will die one day.
Of late, when I'm depressed, sad, weak, struggling, sorely tempted: into sin. My answer has been to hope in death.
Death is the promise God gives all. We all die. Its incontrovertible. Now, Tomorrow; Decades away. We die.
When we die, fame, fortune, horror, disability, sadness, family, friends, career, pride, boasts, nation, patriotism, loyalty: all come to none. The word perfection refers to end. A thing's end, its means, purpose: is its perfection. Our perfection is our death. It is why martyrs are so important. Their end slide, their perfection, is a message of Christ.
Death wipes away all! Nothing we've done can harm or hinder us anymore. We are judged and sent to heaven or hell, or purgatory then heaven. Morbid yet? In heaven, we are judged by our lives! Living, Obedience. We are given our reward. Great or small, and its all we have for eternity. That and our relations with those in heaven, who are closer or further from us.
Finality. Finite. Mortal. End.
I am transient. I am ending. I am dying every day of my life.
This death one day, which I shall not, ought not, must not for the life of me so unjustly quicken by foolishness of any kind: by order of God: is my hope.
It seek it in my body when I want to sin! I hope in it! I figuratively do what the early Christians did literally, and strip myself clear.
I can take nothing out! I cannot get out! I am me, and my ticket reserves space for one. We must all buy our own tickets by our acts of faith in God!
I look at death as a sign, as my hope! In it is strength to weather the terrible winter storm upon me! It gives me strength each day to live and not despair! Death is upon my organs! Day by day whatever I do it edges closer! This is my hope! My answer to morbidity; I am mortal! I am dying! I am transient... Fading ... Failing ... Flailing, dying in the desert wind! As beautiful Brown Desert Eyes, watch me collapse!
My hope is death! For to love this life is to lose the next! To hope in the next is to gain this life and the next! For there is only one life! And it starts when we are conceived, and never truly ends! Death is not our enemy but our deepest sign of God! It is our hope! And by hoping in this absolute of one day, by acquiesce into God's power in death. Grounding, thus combats swirling deadly electricity of sin! Death cures death! In hope of death! But not that opposite, terrible terrible suicide which is love of this life not the next! Oh! Cowardice that almost certain is a sign of hell not heaven.
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